Es la estación

I guess " ´tis the season" sounds better in English than Spanish.

My neighbors just finished their third consecutive night of caroling, each night is progressively more rocking than the previous.

Tonight's most popular song was "Navidad." The lyrics, to the tune of Jingle Bells, are as follows "Navidad. Navidad. Navidad. Navidad."

Catchy, eh.

---

This afternoon we had the office gift exchange. On Dec. 1, we held an office-wide meeting to set the parameters for the exchance.

It would take place on Monday, Dec. 20 at noon. Everyone was informed. We all drew names out of a hat. Price limit was $5.

I drew our office's secretary. I had had several conversations with her about how she wanted to read more books, except that she didn't have any. I went to a book store last week and bought Charlie and the Chocoloate Facotry, Old Man and the Sea, and The Alchemist.

I showed up at the office today at 12:15 ready for the exchange, knowing that it wouldn't start on time.

Ian: What time are we going to do the exchange?
Co-worker: Noon.
Ian: It's already 12:15.
Co-worker: I know. We all have to go buy our presents first.

They all proceed to leave the office and go to the gift store down the street for presents before meeting back at a restaurant for an office Christmas party.

---

The Christmas decorations that you see at the top of this post were made by my co-workers. They spent an entire week decorating the office for Christmas.

Dating

According to a horribly unscientific Google search, there are five streets in the United States named after the 4th of July.

On the other extreme, every city in Ecuador with labeled streets has several streets that mark watershed dates in their heritage.

In Arenillas alone, there are at least two main streets and four neighborhoods commemorating important days in the calendar year (Streets: May 24, November 11; Neighborhoods: October 9, December 25, May 24, and November 11).

November 11 celebrates the anniversary of the county's independence. May 24 is the anniversary of the Battle of Pichincha. October 9 marks Guayaquil's independence. December 25 is Christmas.

This is common throughout the country and Latin America, and definitely something that we missed out on in the U.S. (I know that in Israel there is November רחוב כט, but I don't recall that every city has streets named after famous dates)

Every city in Michigan, for example, could have January 26 St. to remember that on January 26, 1837, Michigan achieved its statehood. A main thoroughfare in Detroit would be named July 24 because the city was founded on July 24, 1701.

It would be a great way for people to remember a bit of local history, as well. I guarantee that every person in Arenillas could tell you that Arenillas was founded on November 11, 1955. Do you know on which date your city was founded?

But this trend of naming things after important dates extends beyond streets and neighborhoods. One of my volunteer friends adopted a cat a few days ago and named it 14 de Diciembre (December 14).

I haven't seen this trend expand into the naming of children yet, but how could you forget someone's birthday if it was his or her first name?

Apocalypse now?

A guy got on the CIFA bus last week and claimed that the apocalypse was upon us.

I understand that this is completely normal on public transportation all over the world, but this was the first time I came across "end of the world is upon us" guy on the CIFA.

As soon as the bus pulled out of my town heading toward Machala, he told the bus driver to cue some doomsday music on the bus stereo system. This was the first time I had seen someone hijack a bus speaker system for his shpiel.

With the mood set by a bouncy bus ride, Armageddon music, and the stench of urine, he began throwing out some quotes from the bible describing what will happen at the end of days.

He described chaos and torrential rains at the beginning of the end. He asked everybody on the bus if they have noticed that it was raining harder lately. Because we are experiencing the first hard rains of the winter season, everyone agreed that it was starting to rain.

Then the speaker said that from this destruction will come unity. He described how Belgium signed a peace treaty and merged with three countries in 1998. (I did some research on Belgian history. Either this guy is wrong or the Internet is wrong.)

Unfortunately, I had to get off the bus at this point and couldn't stay for the end of his talk and how, if you donated to him, one could mitigate the effects of the end of the world. I really to stay on to see how it would end, but I would have missed my stop and been forced to backtrack through some shady areas.

Bus vendors

"Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting your ride. I give you all the respect that you deserve..."

And so starts every bus shpiel in Ecuador.

From there, there is no telling what direction the vendor will go.

• You have the guys carrying a briefcase selling the health benefits of noni, claiming that it will cure cancer, gastritis, kidney problems, and chronic liver issues.

• Other guys will claim that this is the only way for them to make an honest living. They have decided to offer you the opportunity to buy some candy - at 300 percent the listed price. Sometimes they play up the "otherwise I would rob this bus" angle, while others say this is how they pay for their education.

• A guy goes on about the importance of learning languages before giving everyone the chance to buy an English-Spanish dictionary.

• I like the guy who passes through the bus giving out a pack of four DVDs or CDs to each passenger, allowing them the chance to look over the discs and different tracks, before he goes back to make the sale or recollect the unwanted discs. When he is handing out the discs, he takes a few seconds with each passenger to make you think that he is choosing those four discs especially for you.

Then there are the performers.

• My favorite musician is an old "guitar player"/"singer
/"songwriter" who rides the CIFA between Arenillas and Huaquillas. Now, I call him a "guitar player" instead of a guitar player because his guitar only has one string. I call him a "singer" instead of a singer because he is more of a whiner or bellower, not too much rhythm in his voice. He is a "songwriter" because most of his lyrics are just repeating the name of the city we are heading to.

If he ever made it onto YouTube, he would be a legend.

• A clown comedy troupe sometimes rides the local bus, making crude jokes and screaming in a really high-pitched voice.

• A one-man band also frequents the bus line from Santa Rosa to Machala. He is not that bad.

The amazing thing is that every single one of these guys cleans up every time they board a bus. There is some cultural phenomenon here where people will buy anything that is offered to them.

(Cleaning up in the sense that they make a lot of sales. Nobody cleans the buses here. Many buses have signs that tell passengers to throw garbage out the windows.)

Bananera: From plant to box

Have you ever wanted to know how bananas get from the farm to your breakfast table?



This will be the first part in what I hope will be a series of posts that will explain the process.

Not recommended

If you are looking for an IV or a vaccine in Arenillas, you could call this number (but you probably shouldn't).

A situation brewing

The main beer company in Ecuador has halted production of the two local beers - Pilsener and Club - after a court closed the factory

A judge ordered the company to make $90.6 million in back payments to former employees. Failure to make these payments meant an order to shut down production.

This has the makings of a major situation.

Ecuadorians love their Pilsener.

It is THE Ecuadorian beverage. When you ask for a beer here, it is Pilsener.

If you offer an Ecuadorian another brand of beer, they will tell you that it doesn't taste like beer because it isn't Pilsener. I have spoken to Ecuadorians who have spent time in the States and despite the variety of beers available in the U.S., they say nothing compares to a Pilsener.

I don't know what will happen if this situation is not resolved quickly. According to news reports, the brewery has three days reserve supply of beer.

After that, they're out.

I don't know how this situation will play out, but it will definitely be interesting to follow.

Don't fight with the garbagemen

My counterpart agency is in charge of garbage collection in town.

They have two rarely functioning vehicles to pick up trash from the county's 30,000 residents. Sometimes another municipal department will lend some dump trucks to help out, but they are only slightly more reliable than the garbage truck..

Given these scant resources and the amount of garbage the residents produce, angry residents come into the office every day to complain about how the garbage truck has not come back for two or three weeks.

These problems typically get resolved with my co-workers agreeing that garbage collection in a problem and saying how little there is that they can control. The car's out of service, they'll say (and it typically is). Then they'll place a call to the garbage collection coordinator who resolves the issue within a couple of days.

Last week, a man came into the office complaining that the garbagemen won't pick up his garbage - even though the truck continues to pass by his house.

Reason for the lack of service: spite.

A few weeks ago, some of the garbage workers looked at the man's wife the wrong way. The man didn't appreciate it too much and confronted the garbage workers about it.

They haven't picked up his garbage since.

After he complained to my office, they called the garbage coordinator to tell his employees that spite is not an acceptable reason to cut someone's service.

When gracias just won't cut it

Gracias is the standard Spanish phrase to express gratitude. For something a little stronger, you can say muchas gracias.

Sometimes that might not be enough. Or you use it so often that it loses meaning. Plus, muchas gracias can carry a sexual message (you don't really want that in your exchange with the vendors at the market.

Luckily Ecuador has a stronger phrase if you really want to thank someone, you can say Dios le pague.

It literally means "May God repay you."

You are so thankful for what the other person has done that you believe that person deserves some form of extra reward.

I wouldn't consider myself an expert on proper DLP usage yet. That would require several years of rice and chicken for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. DLP is normally said when someone goes above and beyond what they are expected of doing. Also, hearing DLP makes me feel better than muchas gracias. So just saying it might make someone's day.

The good thing about this phrase is that using the phrase in the wrong situation can make for great humor. I personally enjoy dropping DLP after buying goods at the market because of the irony (I just paid them for the goods, and I'm hoping they get rewarded for their tremendous customer service.)

One of my favorite aspects of DLP is the types of "you're welcome" replies that it can bring. My personal favorite response to DLP is ojala, which means I sure hope so in this context.

If you receive a text message from me that says DLP, that's just my shorthand way of expressing immense gratitude.

(I wish I had posted this last Thursday.)

Coastal Chanukah Celebration w/o Cholent

Last night, we had a bit of a januca party in Arenillas. For those that weren't able to attend, here is what you missed.



Three varieties of latkes: potato, yucca, and green plantain.

Verdict: all three are delicious.



Donuts with a chocolate-banana filling.



This is everything else that was on the table. Click on the image to get a detailed map.