Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Arenillas Racquetball Club


As the wet season approaches, the morning rains have been stronger and more sustained. And with the rains come puddles, which bring standing water and optimal conditions for mosquito breeding.

One strategy to combat the mosquitoes from getting to me this year is the electronic, mosquito-killing racket I bought a couple of weeks ago.

Not only has this allowed me to marginally reduce my risk of dengue and malaria, but it has also given me the chance to keep my racquetball skills fresh, even though there isn't a court in a few hundred kilometers.

I walk through my house a couple of times per day, swatting at mosquitoes and other flying insects with all kinds of strokes. I go with whichever approach gives me the best chance at the kill: the forehand, the backhand, the volley, the slam, the cut, the slice, and so on.

When the bugs hit the racket, there is an awesome zapping sound.

A really, really awesome zapping sound.

The bugs don't bounce off the back wall as well as I would like, so I guess that part of my game will get a bit rusty.

While this might not be the most effective way to reduce my risk for mosquito-borne illness, it is by far the most interactive and entertaining. (Telling my neighbor to do something about the exposed well in his backyard would probably be better. This takes nothing away from how entertaining it is to talk to my neighbor, but the mosquito racket is in a category of its own.)

A volunteer friend of mine recently purchased a racket of his own. He called me last week, and in the background of the conversation there were constant zapping noises.

I bought the racket in Huaquillas, the border town between Ecuador and Peru where one can find everything they could imagine - such as mosquito-zapping rackets.

Huaquillas's primary distributor of these fine products is no one-trick pony. He has figured out the key to reducing risk is diversification. The same guy who sells these rackets also manages a public bathroom. There is a big sign outside of his store that says "bathrooms for rent." He has to step aside from his toilet paper-ripping duties to sell the rackets. He also copies keys.

I couldn't think of a better januca present that a mosquito zapping racket, which comes in a variety of colors, as well.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Officially Censada


How many doors do you think sport a "censada" sticker and a mezuzah?

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Census Day

In the United States, the Census takes several months to complete. It involves the hiring over 650,000 temporary enumerators and costs billions of dollars.

In Ecuador, the Census is essentially taken in a day. For that day, the entire country is at a stand-still as volunteer census takers, mostly high school juniors and seniors, go door-to-door collecting statistics.

That day was today.

From 7:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., it was illegal to be out of your house.

Soldiers and police officers were patrolling the streets to make sure that nobody was milling about. Domestic air travel was shut down, but international flights arrived and departed on schedule (except that you had to be at the airport before 7:00 a.m. because there were no taxis to take you). As part of keeping order during the Census, consumption of alcohol has been prohibited since Friday at midnight.

It was pretty eerie to look out my door at 7:00 this morning to see nothing but a few soldiers doing their patrols. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long until the census taker arrived at my door. The volunteer came by at 7:30.

Apparently, everybody in the country must participate in the census, whether or not they are citizens. So I answered the questions like everybody else.

One of the questions asked about my principal method of waste removal. I either recycle or compost almost all of my waste. Neither of those was an option. So I selected "other", but the census taker had trouble comprehending my response.

Another one of the questions asked about where I was born. It is clear that the census takers were not trained to survey people born outside of Ecuador. Although one of the responses to the question read "other country," my census taker was insistent that we should not fill in that blank because that is not what she was taught. I insisted. Then after conferring with her supervisor, she got permission to say that I was born outside of Ecuador.

It was also hard for the surveyor to understand that I work more than 60 hours a week, but that I am volunteer and am not making a salary.

After the forty-minute interview, she put a "counted" sticker on my door frame and moved on to my neighbors.

That left me with more than nine hours before I could leave my house. I tried to make them as productive as possible.

I started off by listening to a podcast before reading a hundred pages of my book. I went back for another podcast before lunching on leftovers from Friday night's dinner. Then I picked up my book again but only advanced another thirty pages before I got restless.

This is when I decided to "clean." I started with the floor. But as I picked up dirty clothes to clear it, I realized that I had a large pile of laundry to do. Considering it was a sunny day and I still had four hours to kill before the lockdown was over, I resolved to do all my laundry. By the time that, I only had a half hour left.

At 5:00, there was a collective exodus after everyone was cooped up all day in their homes.

Although I'm not quite sure what I would have done with my Sunday if it had not been Census Day, I was quite pleased with how productive I was. Maybe I should treat every Sunday as Census Day?

Friday, November 26, 2010

Ian vs. Kitten: The Solution

The cat is gone, and peace and quiet has returned to my house.

After the epic struggle between a cat who wanted nothing more than to be able to roam freely in the crawlspace above my apartment and some residents who wanted nothing more than to sleep at night without constant meowing, tranquility has triumphed.

This was no easy fight. The kitten relied on its size, quickness, and survival instincts. Last year, I saw a kitten kill a poisonous snake. These animals are much tougher than they look.

I needed a can of tuna, a block of cheese, a broom, two wooden planks, one pet-removal specialist, my neighbor's nephew, and a plastic bag.


When I left for work Thursday morning, I had set out food in two locations to try to lure the cat down from its perch in the crawlspace. I would have spent all morning trying to get the cat down, but I had some meetings that would have been hard to change.

By the time I got home for lunch, my neighbors reported that the problem was solved.

After I left in the morning, they had called in a "specialist." I use quotation marks because my refrigerator repairman was also described as a "specialist."

I wonder what qualifications this guy had as an "animal-removal specialist." This is a do-it-yourself culture. Everybody has tales about how they woke up in the middle of the night and found a poisonous snake crawling around the floor, so they just grabbed their machete and killed the snake. So for someone to be described as an "animal-removal specialist," he must have killed hundreds of snakes. (It was never explained to me who this "specialist" was. For all I know, it was the same "handyman" who tried for six months to fix my toilet and eventually gave up)

He might be competent at this whole animal-catching business, though. According to my neighbors, it only took him about an hour and a half. He could use some help at the disposal aspect of his job.

Once he captured the kitten, he set it free in the street outside my house. Displaying tremendous resiliency and determination, the cat turned around and climbed back up into the crawlspace.

Back at square one.

All of this struggle apparently tired the cat out because after returning to the crawlspace, he decided to take a little siesta. My neighbor's called in their nephew and his small hands to grab the sleeping the cat and take him away.

I was a little sad to have missed all the action, but I'm mostly just happy that the cat is gone.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Ian vs. Kitten: Day Two

At first, I found the meowing cat in my ceiling to be annoying.

I couldn't stand the fact that the cat would purr every six seconds.

But like a lot of other things in Ecuador, it's something I've gotten used to - kind of like the trucks that roar outside my apartment all night long or the reggaeton blasting from motorcycles (the drivers carry boomboxes). You kind of just get immune to it to the point that you don't even realize that it's there.

Because the cat ate some tuna last night, it doesn't appear to be as hungry as your typical cat in the ceiling.

Working with my neighbors, we now have divided our efforts to offer the cat to possible escapes.

One is the plank of wood with tuna that was up last night. My neighbors have placed another plank of wood in their apartment with some cheese on it. (It is the same plank of wood that I use to secure the door to my refrigerator.)

I sure hope that an animal on the ground does not follow the bait and find himself trapped in the ceiling with a cat. On the plus side, that would give our feline friend someone to play with.

My landlord has also called in the assistance of a handyman to fix some things around the house and enlist his efforts in Cat Snatch. I doubt that he will be of much use. This is the same handyman, who misdiagnosed a problem in my bathroom for six months. It turns out I just needed a little piece of string, the same piece of string that the handyman discarded his first day on the job.

I know I shouldn't get too far ahead of myself but I have started thinking about what I will do once I get the cat down from the ceiling.

Here's an idea:

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Ian vs. Kitten: Day One

It started at 6:15 this morning.

As the fresh fish and humita vendors walked by my house with their familiar sales pitches, another sound caught my ear.

It was soft, high-pitched, feline, and coming from my roof. Unlike the vendors, who continued along their daily routes, the sound on the roof persisted.

Somehow, a cat had found its way on top of my house. I didn't really worry about it at the time. I figured that as long as the cat could find its way onto my roof, it could just as easily find its way down from my roof.

This wasn't the first time a cat has found its way into my house. One time, a kitten climbed through my kitchen window and sought refuge behind my fridge for the better part of a Saturday before I took care of the situation. Another time, while I was making macaroni and cheese, I spilled some of the hot milk-cheese mixture onto the floor. When I looked down to see the mess I was making, a cat was there, licking the sauce off the floor. (He was probably the happiest street cat in the world at the time.)

But I wasn't quite certain whether or not this was someone's pet cat who had found its way onto my roof because some new neighbors moved in next door. Throwing their pet cat out to the street would be a horrible first impression. So I figured I would just let the cat be and hope the problem would resolve itself.

I came back to my apartment for lunch, and, unfortunately, the problem had not solved itself. I asked the people who were moving in whether it was their cat, and they told it wasn´t. But I wanted to get the all-clear from my landlord before asserting myself.

The all-clear didn't come until 5:30.

By that time, the cat found the crawlspace between my ceiling and the roof and managed to forget how he got into said crawlspace.

Realizing that this situation probably wasn't going to change all night unless I did something about, I decided that it was time to get the cat down.

At this time, one of my new neighbors walked by. I asked him to help me out because if the cat didn't come down, I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. He told me "Don't trouble yourself. The cat will come down by itself." If he could have come down by himself, he probably would have done so at some point in the last 11 hours.

This part of the night turns into the part from The Sandlot where they try a variety of strategies for getting the baseball out of The Beast's domain.

The space between my ceiling and the roof is big enough for a cat to move around in and for a person to jam a pole into, but not much else.

I don't think that cat had eaten all day. I figured the best way to get him out of their would be to lure him out with the possibility of food. I put some tuna-smelling juice on the end of my broomstick. Then, as the cat was sniffing and licking the broomstick, I would just knock the cat onto the floor.

Except that I don't have cat-like speed and reflexes. When the cat realized what I was doing, it scurried back into the roof. I did hit him on the head a few times, if that counts for anything.

Instead of just offering the cat the scent of food, I decided to give it a little food and then knock it to the floor when it was distracted and eating. I tried this once, but couldn't get a good enough push on the cat. So I just ended up giving it dinner. Then a second time, I was on the phone with a friend about the situation, when the cat took some more tuna out of the can. My lack of Denard-esque speed and reflexes showed as the cat eluded me once more.

Now, it was time to pull out all the stops. I pulled out every large piece of wood in my house and set out and elaborate ramp system, with food incentives along the way, the get the cat down.

After waiting for half an hour without any movement in one part of the courtyard, I decided to move the ramp to another section of the courtyard to see what happens.

Well, so far, the kitten has the upper hand. The ramp has been up for two hours, with little pieces of tuna along the way, but all I can hear is meowing.

I'll update you tomorrow with any developments.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The search for nutmeg

With Thanksgiving approaching, I decided to get in the spirit by cooking some traditional holiday food for some of my Ecuadorian friends.

Recipes for this season typically include what my mom called "Thanksgiving spices," like nutmeg and allspice. These spices aren't very common in Ecuador, bu they do exist here.

Last week, I was in Machala, the closest city to me where one could buy these "exotic" spices. I knew that I could find them at the large supermarket on the outskirts of town, but that was out of my way.

Instead, I tried the subpar grocery store in the center of town on the chance they might sell nutmeg and allspice (they didn't) before venturing into the outdoor market, which is several blocks of produce, poultry, clothes, bootleg movies, and just about anything else you could imagine buying.

After asking around for someone who sells nuez moscada, I was directed a woman who sells medicinal plants. I asked for nutmeg, and she pulled out a jar from under the counter.

Young woman: Is this what you are looking for?
(She points to little white nuts in the jar)
Ian: I'm not sure. (I have never bought nutment, but when I have seen it in markets, the jar is clearly labeled "nutmeg" and the nutmeg crushed up)
Young woman: Hold on. Let me ask my mom. (To older woman) Is this nutmeg?
Older woman: Yes. I think so.
Ian: How much does it cost?
Older woman: One dollar per nut.
Ian: So expensive?
Older woman: Yeah.
Ian: And you're sure this is nutmeg?
Older woman: Yes, positive. I think.
Ian: What does one do with nutmeg?
Older woman: People crush it up and put it on food.
Ian: Well, let me think about it for a minute. In the meantime, do you also sell allspice?
Older woman: No, allspice is something that people put on their food. I don't sell things that people put on food.
Ian: Oh.


After asking around, I couldn't find allspice. So I decided to pass on the nutmeg, as well.

Searching Ecuadorian market for obscure products is something that I really enjoy doing. You normally have to ask ten people where you can buy a certain product and will probably end up walking in circles several times before finally coming across what you are looking for or realizing that nobody has any clue what you are talking about. So the fact that I came up empty-handed in my search for allspice and nutmeg really didn't matter.

Luckily, I got an awesome package in the mail from my mom with all the necessary holiday fixings. And everybody loved the pumpkin pie at shabbat dinner this week, even though it didn't have nutmeg or allspice (I used cinnamon and cloves, instead). (Thanks, Mom.)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Traveshamockery

Beauty pageants, or reina competitions, are a big deal in Ecuador.

They are mentioned all over the newspapers - to the extent that I have begun calculating the reina ratio. Much like the Vikings tried to get Randy Moss the ball on 40 percent of the plays, it appears as if newspaper editors in Ecuador try to put reina pictures or references on 40 percent of the pages.

In the week leading up to a city's beauty pageant, the contestants will visit the local newspaper offices to do interviews so that the newspaper can run a full profile of each candidate with all the information one would care to know and not know.

Almost every organization elects a beauty queen. The drivers union, the artisans, the agriculture center, the high schools, the elementary schools, the preschools (I kid you not), neighborhoods, recreation sports teams, seniors groups, the firefighters, etc. Almost every group, of any kind, elects a reina. (We have been asked whether or not AREvista will have a reina competition. AREvista feels that having a reina competition would distract the group from producing the newspaper.)

Most of the pageant contestants are between the ages of 15-22. To participate in the competitions, they typically have to buy a really expensive dress and shoes. Sometimes a local organizations acts as a sponsor for pageant-related costs, but sometimes families have to spend hundreds of dollars to finance their daughter's candidacy.

The reina competitions in the larger cities are broadcast nationally, and the winners become celebrities.
To celebrate its 55th birthday, Arenillas elected its beauty queen last week.

Normally, I don't pay any attention to the reina competitions, but one of my friends was in the running. Also, as someone who graduated from high school and is currently working on two college degrees, I thought that she would be a good role model for the Arenillas youth. So I attended the event to support her.

Unfortunately, my friend finished in second, even though she was the only contestant to answer her question and everybody I spoke to thought that she was, by far, the best candidate.



As this guy would say, "This whole thing is a travesty and a sham and a mockery."
Despite the disappointing outcome, the reina competition had its share of ridiculousness.

• The pageant was supposed to start at 8:00, didn't get going until 9:45, and finished at 3:00 a.m. It was by far my latest night out in Ecuador.

• At the beginning of beauty pageants, they always emphasize that there will be a "qualified jury" deciding the results. I guess there has been such a long history of biased or questionable judging that they have to put everybody's mind at ease with a disclaimer.

They talk about how it will be a fair process, that none of the judges have preconceived notions about who will win, and that the judges understand their role.

So one would imagine that when the judges spend 90 minutes conferring about the winners, they would actually do their job. Not so much this time.

The judges were supposed to order the contestants one through five because, like summer camp, there are no losers in reina competitions. They each win a different position.

The MC opened the envelop with the help of the municipal lawyer (kind of like the guy who oversees the ping pong balls in the NBA lottery) and realized that the judges did not choose fourth and fifth place.

After conferring for a few minutes, the MC, lawyer, and city councilman who was supposed to award the prize decided to flip a coin. Neither of the girls was too thrilled with the idea.

• During the wardrobe changes, different musical groups come on to entertain the crowd. One of the acts was a woman singing karaoke. It was horrible. She wasn't much of a singer or a dancer.

When she asked the crowd if she should sing another song, there was a resounding "no." Unfortunately, she didn't take their advice.

• When the candidates are parading around the stage, the MC reads a brief profile about each one. A questions on the sheet was "favorite color." One of the girls said her favorite color was blue, red, green, and gold.

• There was a seven-year old girl sitting next to me who was just miserable. All she wanted to do was go home and sleep. Unfortunately, her parents didn't arrange for a sitter.

• The President of Ecuador said that beauty pageants should no longer include the swimsuit competition. If they had included a swimsuit portion in the contest, this thing easily would have gone until 4:30.

• One of the most important things for any reina competitor is to have a strong cheering section. They handed out noisemakers and whistles as if it were purim. I embraced (This drew some laughs from my neighbors). Once I got home, I used a hammer to reshape my frying pan. I also have a pretty outstanding t-shirt from the event that I will be proud to wear back home.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

A new take on the tandem

Or is this the original tandem?

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Thursday is the new Monday

Last month, I talked about how the local municipality turned what was supposed to be a two-day weekend into, for all intents and purposes, a four-and-a-half-day weekend.

Today was the first day of work since last Friday. The main difference this time around is that it was a state-supported vacation. Let's check out how they made this dream a reality.

Saturday: Normal weekend
Sunday: Normal weekend
Monday: Nationally recognized day off to promote tourism
Tuesday: Day of the Dead
Wednesday: Independence Day of Cuenca


When Thursday becomes Monday, that is a great week. But for some people that wasn't enough time off. The local high school will essentially not hold classes all week.

Between today's teacher's expo and tomorrow's high school expo, this is pretty much a week of vacation for the students. And after holding classes Monday and Tuesday next week, there will no be classes until the following Monday because of the student parade, Arenillas' independence day, and the hangover day.

Fridge update



As you can tell by the picture, my fridge is still in my kitchen. Although not exactly providing an Arctic chill, the fridge is definitely cold and the freezer noticeably colder.

The only slight issue is that the door does not stay closed. There is a problem with the seal, and it stays permanently ajar. So my landlord jammed a wooden pole between the door and the wall. I have suggested some less obtrusive solutions. They should take fewer than four months to install.

(I sure hope I didn't jinx anything with this post.)

(But if there is anything to jinx, I'd like to do it now so that I have a properly functioning fridge for the rest of my service instead of partially functioning fridge that completely craps out a week before my service ends (forcing me to split the cost of a new fridge with my landlord)