Is that a good idea?

Like any kids, my neighbors love playing.

Any time they are not in school, it seems, is spent playing outside of my door. That's how it should be. But their activity of choice is always changing.

When I first moved in to my apartment, their favorite game was a modified version of soccer (Bonus points for knocking over Ian's plants). The only losers in this game were my plants, which didn't survive the first two weeks.

Then they got into a game called seven lives (kind of a mixture between pickle and dodgeball).

Then, as tryouts for the citywide team approached, the older kids started practicing basketball on the narrow strip of concrete in front of my house.

After basketball tryouts, spinning tops became all the rage. Until last week...

I was walking back to my house when I noticed the kids playing on the street. I said hi to them like I always do and noticed that they were playing with a rope.

This was weird, I thought, I had never seen them playing with a rope before.

They had thrown this rope over the power line that leads to my house and started tugging on the two ends. (Acceptable to use "no pasa nada" here)

They were pulling very tight on the line, and I'm pretty sure they were pulling dangerously hard. I told them to stop because they might hurt themselves (and I might lose power). They dropped the rope as I walked away.

It was unclear if they picked them up again once I left.

How I coped with the U.S. losing

The U.S. World Cup run has been a lot of fun.

Their games weren't that pretty, but they were among the most exciting of the World Cup. Whether it be the gift goal against England, the comeback and blown calls against Slovenia or the drama against Algeria, the American team's performance has been conversation-worthy to say the least.

Although Ecuador did not qualify for the World Cup, the entire country is still living and dying with each game. More than everything, they like to talk about whatever games or teams they find the most interesting.

So even though the U.S. didn't play as well as some of the other teams, they were a frequent topic of conversation because of how their games played out. Whereas Holland might have played as well as any team in the tournament so far, their games haven't been quite as riveting as U.S.-Slovenia.

With today's loss to Ghana, the U.S. is done in South Africa. Like any American soccer fan, I was a little dejected this afternoon, despite being proud of how they represented the red, white, and blue.

But that dejection didn't last very long.

Immediately after the U.S. game ended, I headed over to the soccer stadium for Condor's match against Rio Amarillo. I know that I haven't blogged much about Condor lately. That's because nothing has really changed.

The team has lost every game for the last two months. They are far and away the worst team in the league, and attending their games has begun to remind me of when I covered Michigan's women's basketball team for the Daily. Condor hasn't been competitive for over a month - three 4-1 losses.

But I continue to go to the games to support the local team and help the AREvista sports writer. Today's game felt like it was going to be more of the same.

Condor played uninspired for the first 20 minutes against the best team in the league. It gave up a weak goal and looked completely disenchanted.

Slowly, the tide began to turn. Suddenly, Condor began connecting on some long passes and found itself in open space.

In the second half, Cesar Cordoba broke free down the right sideline and fired a shot from 20 yards out that flew over the goalie's right shoulder and into the top left portion of the net.

GOLAZO!

Some called it Condor's nicest goal of the season. The game was tied up. The few fans who showed up came alive. And even though the opposition kept making changes to find a way to find the net, it couldn't get anything going.

Condor couldn't break the tie, either. So the teams ended the match knotted up, 1-1. This was the first time the team had not lost in over two months. The team had no chance of advancing to the next stage. They were fighting for honor as much as they were fighting for the win.

And after watching the Americans come up short against Ghana, it felt good to see Condor lay it all on the line and salvage their first points in the league.

Not that bottle

Home-brewed alcohol is very common in Ecuador. On the coast, it is typically made of sugar cane and sold in a variety of glass bottles on the side of the road.

Now, because these are not operations in which appearance matters, the brewers will just put their moonshine in whatever glass or plastic bottle they can find. Then they move their table out to the street and open up shop.

So you'll find all classes of bottles - Gatorade, water, whiskey, pop, etc.

One of my coworkers said she accidentally left a bottle lying around the house. It was in a Gatorade bottle.

Well, her four-year old found the bottle and thought it was Gatorade. And well....

Luckily, she noticed this mix-up before anything went terribly wrong.

(Speechless)

I'm sitting in my apartment the other day when I overhear the following exchange.

Landlord: Are you pregnant or just really fat?
Prospective tenant: I'm just really fat.

Amazingly, the conversation continued afterward. There was no yelling, no violence, no questioning how someone could be so rude. They continued talking as if he had asked her what she ate for lunch.

I have spent the last day trying to imagine what would happen if that question were asked in the United States. I couldn't even fathom a response because I couldn't really imagine the possibility of it even happening.

I shall use it in gezunterheyt

So I bought a machete the other day.

I think we have a bright future together, as long as I follow the instructions that come on the handle.

Do no use the blade of the machete for leverage or as a hammer.
Do not use the machete as a tool to cleave.
Use the machete with movement away, moving away from you and others.
Do not use the machete when you are on an unstable surface.
Do not use the machete near cables or electrical equipment.

If anyone else in Arenillas knew that I was talking about a machete purchase like it was a big deal, they would laugh in my face. But coming from a culture where the machete is so underappreciated and underutilized, I think this is an acceptable reaction.

The only question is why it took me so long to bite the bullet. I'm starting a compost pile up. Chopping up into small pieces is one of the most important things to do with any compost pile. Also, I want to be able to chop it up whenever I want. (You never know when the craving [antojarse] to "machetear" [to use a machete] comes. And whenever it does arise, you definitely want to quench [aplacar] it.)

I purchased the Bellota 191, 24-inch machete. Insert Tim Taylor grunting. (Does Binford manufacture machetes?)

It's not like I had much choice in the matter. I walked into the hardware store and said I needed a machete. I was pointed to a wall full of Bellota 191. Since machete technology doesn't change very rapidly, I don't think it really matters.

Film review: Captain Pantoja and the Special Services

I have logged hundreds of hours on South American buses.

I have lived in Ecuador for over a year now. Before Peace Corps, I bused from Quito to Rio de Janeiro.

On these long bus rides, the bus company will normally show a movie - and put the volume up very high so there is no chance of doing anything else but pay attention. In all of this time spent on buses, I have seen a variety of films. There has been plenty of Van Damme, Stallone, Cage, WWE-sponsored action films, Anaconda, bad comedies, and 2012.

But on my way back from my midservice conference last week, I saw something that I had never seen on a South American bus before — a movie that was originally made in Spanish.

We were about half an hour out of Quito when the ayudante (bus attendant) turned on the TV. I couldn't believe it at first. I sent text messages to a bunch of volunteers.

This would have been enough to get a passing reference on the blog, but then the movie continued.

For the next couple of hours, I would have the pleasure of watching Pantaleón y las visitadoras. It was among most ridiculous films I have ever seen.

The Peruvian-made movie is about a very competent Peruvian army officer whose given the task of devising a task to satisfy the soldiers stationed deep in the jungle. He forms a corps of prostitutes who travel by boat and visit the various remote outposts. The officer is very organized and professional, and his organization reflects this. The group operates very smoothly, and he is rewarded for his work.

On the home front, he has a loving family, and a pregnant wife. He hides the nature of his "mission" from his wife. Things run awry when the soldier falls in love with one of the women in the corps, and the jungle radio station starts talking about how the Peruvian army is supporting such an operation.

It appears that Pantaleon has to make a decision between his wife and his lover. Will Pantaleon stay with his wife or stay with amante?t a

The ending is just as ridiculous as the plot line.

According to imdb, this is supposed to be a comedy. I didn't find it that funny. Maybe I didn't pick up on satire or sarcasm. Maybe I was so blown away by a movie that was a originally made in Spanish that I couldn't think straight. Based on my experiences this last year, I thought it was a decent social critique.

World Cup fever

My neighbors burn their garbage.

The fumes of these bonfires waft into my kitchen.

I know it's bad. I have told them as much - repeatedly.

But there is some communication and cultural gap that I'm having trouble bridging. It might have something to do with the unreliability of the municipal garbage truck (something I can attest to because I work in that office. It could have to do with some pyromaniacal tendencies (something I can't relate to because I was afraid of fire until the age of 20).

Either way, the trash keeps on burning.

Last night, they had a raging garbage fire going - probably one of the biggest since I moved it. Everything was normal until I saw my little neighbor (probably about seven) come outside kicking a plastic water bottle.

He is kicking the bottle around the backyard until he stops in front of the garbage fire. He sets up like he is taking a free kick and boots the bottle into the flames. Then he celebrates as if he just scored a World Cup goal as he watches the bottle melt in the fire, breathing in the sweet smell of victory and toxic fumes.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL!

Stool Sample

Last week, I had my midservice conference.

Aside from catching up with all the other volunteers from my program and seeing them all for the first time since the swearing-in ceremony, there was one primary topic of conversation.

Part of the midservice conference involves a midservice medical exam. Part of said medical exam involves giving a stool sample.

They use the stool sample to check whether a volunteer has parasites, amoebas, and/or other interesting digestive situations. In order to give an adequate sample, one must place a turd in small, blue canister. The canister is about half full with a preservative solution and also contains a small shovel.

Several of the other volunteers have had some digestive issues throughout their first year of service and have some experience collective their poop for examination. Others, like me, were doing it for the first time.

Upon asking around, I heard quite a few different strategies that were adopted by my fellow volunteers.

Now, I understand the some people might not want to read all the how-to details involved in giving a testable sample. I have prepared a guide based on conversations with other volunteers. If this is something you are interested in reading, you can send me an email (ian.jacob.robinson@gmail.com).

But just so you know, my test came back clean.

No parasites. Giddy up!

A full day's work

I had a long day today.

I rolled out of bed at 6:15 and headed over to my friend's house to prepare for the day's labor.

I sat down on his couch, turned on the TV, and clocked into my "office" for the day. Today, I turned in a March Madness-esque day of worshiping soccer. I watched five games, on three completely different levels of competition.

The day started early at my friend's house with Greece-South Korea. At first, I was alone on the couch but twenty minutes into the game, his nine year-old son woke up and joined me.

I didn't really have a rooting interest in the game, but we decided to pull for Korea because my friend thought the country's name was very close to that of the President of Ecuador (Korea vs. Correa). That, and it would have made for a tough start to the day pulling for a team that played as poorly as Greece.

With the first game out of the way, our next course was Argentina vs. Nigeria. From what I have heard, in the Ecuador's absence from the World Cup, everybody has decided to cheer for every other Latin American country.

So there is an obvious attraction to Argentina. Plus, there is Lionel Messi - the Argentine star and one of the best players in the world. But the biggest intrigue about Argentina, and the reason most were interested in watching is the coach - Diego Maradona.

Maradona is considered one of the greatest soccer players ever. He received the undying affection of every Spanish-speaking soccer fan in South America by carrying Argentina to the 1986 World Cup championship. Since his playing days though, he has done everything possible to ruin that reputation (Cocaine addiction, alcoholism, obesity, financial troubles). He really likes media attention.

He's not my kind of player.

I asked my my little buddy if he wanted Argentina or Nigeria. He said he wanted to wait until the teams came out of the tunnel and could choose which color he liked the most. He preferred the white/light blue uniforms of Argentina more than the greens of Nigeria. And since Argentina was the first country I ever visited in South America, I have no trouble rooting for them on occasion. And even though Argentina showed some cracks, it won 1-0. (Plus, I always like to see the African teams do well, especially on African soil. Except Algeria against the US, of course.)

Then I had a lunch break before the day's biggest game - US-England. I got together with a few other volunteers and some Ecuadorian friends at a local restaurant that has a relatively large screen.



When else will I have the opportunity to drape myself in an American flag and not be horribly awkward?

We were all happy enough with the game's outcome, though my heart could have gone without so many defensive lapses. Thank you, Tim Howard.

Then I headed over to the stadium for Condor's game. I had missed one Condor game, and it felt like an entirely different team. In the game that I missed, Condor lost 4-1 on the road, meaning that it had lost the first four games of the tournament. It was the only team in the league without a single result. I guess the fans finally caught on that this team was not very good.

In the last game I attended, I would say nearly a thousand people showed up. This afternoon barely saw a hundred people at the stadium. And Condor came out with the same enthusiasm.

The game briefly became interesting when Condor tied it up in the second half but almost immediately allowed the tiebreaker. The team has cut a few players because they just don't have the budget anymore and had to cut their newly hired coach as well.

Then, I went home for a bit and caught the final part of my quintuple header: Emelec-Barcelona. These are the two teams from Guayaquil, and it is called a "classico" because the rivalry is so intense. Emelec won, 2-1.

And that capped my day.

Now, I have to get some sleep before I repeat the same schedule tomorrow.

Fotos de mis padres

I know you really don't want to read text. You would probably rather be looking at pictures of my parent's visit. So I'll stop typing and let you look.


Together in Cuenca.


Shabbat in Cuenca.


Cheering on Club Condor. Even their presence couldn't get them in the victory column.


My parents embracing bag culture.


The best ten cents you can spend.


The mosquito net fell down in the middle of the night, but it was still on top of them so the mosquitoes never got in.


Helping take the recyclables out of the elementary school.


Mom getting out of out "taxi".


Cotopaxi is the world's highest active volcano.

Con mis padres

Apologies for the lack of recent blog content. I have been a bit busy for the last week, entertaining some important guests.

We have had quite a few blog-worthy experiences in this time. What has been lacking is the blogging time/internet connection.

We have been having a great time and will share the experience with the loyal blog readership very soon.

And trust me. You will not be disappointed. You might see a picture of my mom shlepping garbage out of the all-girls elementary school. You might see a picture of my dad making my bed more ergonomic.

That's just to whet your palate.

You will not see any Diet Coke. You will not see any pictures from the supermarket in Cuenca, either (I learned that from my last trip there).

Stay tuned.